Ambiguity: Take It or Leave It

I remember a day in high school, when we were learning archery in P.E. class. I picked up a bow and shot a couple of arrows, decently well I suppose. When I handed the bow the girl next to me, she pointed out that it was “left handed.”

“Are you left handed?” she asked.

“Usually I’m right handed,” I said.

“Oh,” she said, “Are you ambiguous?”

“I go both ways,” I said.

…Looking back on that incident, I see a couple of things. First is that I was a smart ass even at age 15. Second is that I didn’t have a set notion of what I was even that early.

I know at this point – forty years old – that I’m a work in progress. I know that I’m still cooking, that I have room to improve. I know that is unlikely to ever change.

From where I stand now, the ambiguities of the past don't look any easier than they did at the time I lived them. However, I don't feel like I need to wring my hands and fret about them. The change is one of acceptance, as far as I can tell.

I'll get into all of this later, in detail and with more entertaining anecdotes. I just want to make it clear right up front that I am well aware of the ambiguous nature of myself. I am aware that nothing is easy with me. I am aware that I am strange. No one has to like it, but I hope that someone can accept it.